Sure thing! Let’s rewrite that with a casual, human touch:
Believe it or not, DC Comics is home to some of the absolute strongest characters ever imagined—not just in comics, but maybe in all of fiction. It’s pretty wild to think about characters who can outrun the Flash, zipping around so fast they could blink and miss light. Or consider Superman, casually lifting a book with endless pages. And then, there are those cosmic heavyweights who remodel entire universes like it’s their weekend project. But as mighty as DC’s lineup can be, it’s equally balanced by some of the most hilariously underpowered characters. For every over-the-top powerhouse, there’s an oddball with a questionable—or downright bizarre—set of abilities.
While DC’s brawniest are the ones grabbing headlines, the lesser-known weaklings are just as intriguing, mostly because you can’t help but scratch your head at them. So, let’s check out 10 of DC’s weakest characters. Honestly, these guys are so underwhelming they probably shouldn’t even bother with the costumes.
10) Friendly Fire
Garth Ennis and John McCrea introduced us to Friendly Fire in Hitman #18 back in 1997. This big dude in a red hood can shoot energy blasts from his hands. Sounds cool, right? Except Friendly Fire, part of the “superhero” squad Section 8 (if you can call them heroes), is notoriously bad at aiming. Seriously, the guy only ever hit his friends or civilians, never a bad guy. In his final blunder, he took his own head off, proving he might’ve been better off with no powers at all.
9) Brother Power the Geek
Yep, this isn’t a joke. Brother Power the Geek was dreamt up by Joe Simon, first showing up in Brother Power the Geek #1 in 1968. Once just a mannequin, he got struck by lightning and voilà—life and superpowers followed! His early days involved crazy capers like running for Congress and being fired into space by President Reagan to foil some rocket sabotaging hippies. Wild times. Though he later got powers letting him mess with dolls and alter his size, he still was just a mannequin that walked and talked.
8) Arm-Fall-Off-Boy
What to say about Arm-Fall-Off-Boy? Debuting in Secret Origins #46 in 1989, he can, well, detach his arms and use them as weapons. Hailing from the 31st century, he couldn’t even make it into the Legion of Super-Heroes, who are no strangers to offbeat, niche powers. I mean, they let in Stone Boy, who can turn into an immobile stone! In a way, Arm-Fall-Off-Boy is memorable for just how uniquely strange he is.
7) Red Bee
Making his entrance in Hit Comics #1 from the Quality Comics days (snapped up by DC in 1956), Red Bee was a WWII superhero. Not to be mistaken with his grandniece Jenna who has a fancy alien suit, the original Red Bee battled bad guys with—you guessed it—trained bees. Nothing magical here, just some loyally trained bees. His fave, Michael, could sting more than once, but he also had a ray gun called the “stinger gun.” He stands as a testament to the quirky, weaker heroes sprinkled through DC’s history.
6) Color Kid
Popping up in Adventure Comics #342 in 1966, Color Kid is—no pun intended—a colorful character. Rejected by the Legion of Super-Heroes, all he can do is change object colors. Perhaps it could temporarily blind foes? Or maybe take down a Green Lantern with a strategic color swap? In the end, he joined the slightly less prestigious Legion of Substitute Heroes. Still, I think he’s even more of a one-trick pony than Arm-Fall-Off-Boy.
5) Kite Man
Hell yeah! Kite Man’s got his own show these days, which leans heavily on how ridiculous he is. His uselessness is endearing and part of his appeal. Even in a gang of absurd Batman villains, Kite Man shines by somehow being a little more useful than he should be—whether he’s using kites for travel or as a crafty delivery system for explosives, there’s potential there, however small.
4) Ten-Eyed Man
First seen in Batman #226 in 1970, Ten-Eyed Man is the odd outcome of a nightmare surgery, getting eyes on all ten of his fingers. Seeing through them might sound cool, but it makes everyday actions a real headache. He can see behind himself, sure, but using those hands without partial blindness is a task. Even attempting to fight means half-blinding himself, not to mention the sensory overload. Supernatural vision powers or not, there are just too many hurdles here.
3) Condiment King
Born as a gag in Batman: The Animated Series, he wasn’t even a real baddie but a Joker pawn. His comic life isn’t any more viable, consistently being the punchline. He poses a threat only to those with serious mustard allergies or your dry-cleaning budget.
2) Penny Plunderer
In the Golden Age, there was the Penny Plunderer, focusing on penny-themed crime. With very little room for criminal ambition, how’d he make it so high on this list? His terrible luck with pennies, that’s why. Constantly thwarted by the copper coins, it’s almost a curse. He’s a tragedy in penny form.
1) Bizarro Flash
Taking the cake for DC’s weakest is Bizarro Flash, crafted by Superman’s villain Bizarro in the iconic All-Star Superman. As the opposite of Flash, his top speed is a whopping two inches per hour. He’s not just ineffective; he’s a liability to himself.
So, that’s a look at ten of DC’s least impressive characters. Got any other weaklings you think should’ve made this list? Feel free to share in the comments!
